Family Law | Separation and Divorce | Avoid Court If Possible

CHOOSE THE HIGH GROUND     

Separating from your spouse can be a difficult, emotional and often very stressful event.  There are two ways to resolve the disputes that arise when couples separate.  

The first, and by far the better way, is by way of a separation agreement.  Once signed, the agreement is a binding contract on both parties.  Of course, getting to an agreement means that both parties must be reasonable and cooperative with one another.  

If that process fails, the only other way to address the issues is in family court.  Accordingly, in some circumstances, consider that a good mediator can help couples find that 'middle ground' that leads to an agreement when the couple, on their own, cannot. 

You really want to avoid family court if possible.  There are a number of good reasons to avoid running off to court, the most important of which is that doing so tends to add fuel to the fire so to speak.  Litigation in family court can be stressful and expensive.

I have been helping clients resolve family law issues for more than forty years.  I have found that it is better to mediate.  Don't litigate!    

When couples separate, sometimes at least one of the parties comes to the table with a lot of anger.  There may be good reasons for that anger but I have found that some people let their emotions get the better of them.  When that happens, it usually prevents the person from seeing things clearly.  This can be particularly true when it comes to the issues of custody of, and access to, children.  

If a person cannot put their anger aside, often the real casualties are the child or children.  Negative emotions, particularly strong negative emotions such as anger, bitterness or jealousy, does more damage to the individual that we often realize.  Negative emotion of any kind often becomes an effective barrier to the individual moving forward in life.  Negative emotion can even have psychosomatic effects. 

If your ex-partner adopts a 'win at all costs' approach or is too angry to be reasonable, it is best not to get drawn into that game.  This is often difficult advice for people to accept but, if you allow the anger of the other party to get to you and you respond in kind, the litigation tends to get more heated, may well be prolonged and will usually be more expensive for both parties.  Do not get caught up in this game.  Choose the higher ground. 

If you are separating from your spouse, you should think very seriously about sitting down with the other side to try to settle all of the issues between you in the form of a separation agreement.  Sometimes it may not be possible to sit down face to face with the other side.  At times like these, seasoned legal counsel can often be a benefit. 

 If you need help drafting an agreement or, if you have already found yourself in family court, call my direct line for a no-obligation consultation at: 506-496-5872.

Offices in Florenceville-Bristol, Hartland, Woodstock and Fredericton.

 

Grant Edward Rayner B.Comm., LL.B.*

* In practice since 1985.